As you can see (and as I have forewarned you) my latest entry into this
blog is far beyond any means of being called late, so maybe we can just
consider this early..lol Unfortunately for you the public (I.e. those
actually reading this blog) my slackness in providing you with the
insights of my everyday continue to be as consistent as molasses.
Fortunate for me however while this entry is late to the masses, it was
just on time on my behalf. ( Referring back to my initial disclaimer
about writing about things that are relevant to me) Any who, something
of great relevance transpired a few weeks ago that put me off just a bit
( I lie; it put me off a lot.) If you will partake with me in a quick
(yet disturbing) journey into the madness that has prompted me to share
(or better yet warn) this event that sent me into a unfortunate delirium.
Imagine if you will; your greatest fear realized, magnified. Imagine a
feeling like you were dying, even though you weren’t, but the feeling
is so relentless that you can not discern that fact for yourself.
Imagine being trapped; no forward, no backward, no up, no down… no way
out. Now imagine this feeling coming over you completely without
warning. You are neither aware of when it could hit or prepared to
defend yourself against it. Curious as to what can possibly be so
powerful it can inflict such confusion upon a hapless individual, Well
my dear friends I have a treat for you! Life stresses getting you down? No
idea how your gonna make it through to the next day? Well you are
already well on your way to the wonderful world of the precocious PANIC
ATTACK!!!!!

Yes Panic Attacks my friends, I can remember there was a time I would
have thought this a characteristic of the overly indulged, but as I was
so painfully made aware, it can and will strike anybody.

Now Im pretty sure by now you are wonder what could have triggered this
unfortunate event; well I had an argument with my better half, that
turned to a shouting match, and ended in a small scuffle. The situation,
being as traumatized as it was didn’t seem to have an affect on me
outside of the aggravation and frustration at the moment, little was I
to know that this event would have residual effects. The day after the
argument I was driving, accompanied by my cousin (thankfully) to the
supermarket. Going into the car I was slightly hesitant, there was an
unease about something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Once in
the car I was realizing that nothing felt right, ( I did mention this to
my cousin, who in turn thought I was playing) The feeling at hand was
not showing any sign of reprieve. ( you may be saying to yourself ; well
why even bother continuing to drive?’ and in all honestly the only
reason I can think of is that I wasn’t taking the warnings
seriously) Turned on the ignition, changed gears, got ready to accelerate,
and that’s when it hit me; an unnerving sense of danger, a stifling
nausea, vertigo that seemed drugged induced. Though the whole ordeal lasted all of 10 minutes, the complete sense of not being completely in control felt like hours. Outside of the fear that initially put over me, when replaying the event over and over in my mind, all I could think of was ” What if the car was in motion?” and better yet ” What of I was alone?” it was from that last question, I began my self imposed research assignment on the subject, just so I can better equip myself, to either prevent it from happening in the future, or be able to handle it better than before. Here is what I’ve come up with;

Panic attacks occur suddenly, without any warning and without any way to stop it.
the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation; ( This would be that feeling of impeding death )
it passes in a few minutes; the body cannot sustain the ‘fight or
flight’ response for longer than that. However, repeated attacks can
continue to recur for hours. ( recurring for hours? I barely made it past 10 minutes!)

A panic attack is not dangerous, but it can be terrifying, largely
because it feels ‘crazy’ and ‘out of control.’ ( Can I get an amen?)

I found that “panic attacks” are associated with Panic disorders. Panic attacks if not kept in check can lead to other complications such as phobias,
depression, substance abuse, medical complications, even suicide. Its
effects can range from mild word or social impairment to a total
inability to face the outside world. What really bugged me out is the phobias that people with panic disorder develop do not come
from fears of actual objects or events, but rather from fear of having
another attack. In these cases, people will avoid certain objects or
situations because they fear that these things will trigger another attack. (which I can’t afford because I drive to work)

With keeping all this in mind, the next question was What causes a Panic Attacks?
Aspects of both the mind and body can cause panic attacks, I have found that here may be a genetic predisposition to anxiety disorders; some
sufferers report that a family member has or had a panic disorder or
some other emotional disorder such as depression, but then there is also the mind to worry about; stressful life events can trigger panic disorders. One association
that has been noted is that of a recent loss or separation. Some
researchers liken the ‘life stressor’ to a thermostat; that is, when
stresses lower your resistance, the underlying physical predisposition
kicks in and triggers an attack. Now let me break this down even further for you so it can trip you out just as much as I did when I put it together; take for example, if a person with panic disorder experiences a racing
heartbeat caused by drinking coffee, exercising, or taking a certain
medication, they might interpret this as a symptom of an attack and ,
because of their anxiety, actually bring on the attack. On the other
hand, coffee, exercise, and certain medications sometimes do, in fact,
cause panic attacks. This can be one of the most frustrating things for the panic
sufferer; never knowing how to isolate the different triggers of an
attack.

This vague window of what “does and doesn’t” cause and attack can in turn make the sufferer show ‘situational avoidance’ associated
with their panic attacks. For example, you might have an attack while
driving, and start to avoid driving until you develop an actual phobia
towards it. In worst case scenarios, people with panic disorder develop
agoraphobia — fear of going outdoors — because they believe that by
staying inside, they can avoid all situations that might provoke an
attack, or where they might not be able to get help. The fear of an
attack is so debilitating, they prefer to spend their lives locked
inside their homes.
Even if you don’t develop these extreme phobias, your quality of life
can be severely damaged by untreated panic disorder. Though I personally don’t believe pills as the cure all for all problems, only a medical professional would be able to tell you for sure exactly what steps you can take to over come this, with that being said however I have found some natural remedies that are easy as well as practical:

The first step to some to sort reprieve is largely informational; many people are
greatly helped by simply understanding exactly what panic disorder is, (your welcome)
and how many others suffer from it. Many people who suffer from panic
disorder are worried that their panic attacks mean they’re ‘going crazy’
or that the panic might induce a heart attack. (that did past my mind) Another way of getting through it is a method called ‘Cognitive restructuring’ which is simply
changing one’s way of thinking, it helps people replace those thoughts
with more realistic, positive ways of viewing the attacks. It can also further help by helping to identify the trigger to their attack.

Relaxation techniques (the one I liked the best) can further help someone ‘flow through’ an attack.
These techniques include breathing retraining and positive
visualization. Some experts have found that people with panic disorder
tend to have slightly higher than average breathing rates, learning to
slow this can help someone deal with a panic attack and can also prevent
future attacks

Then finally my least favorite option “medication” may also be needed. Anti-anxiety medications
may be prescribed, as well as antidepressants, and sometimes even heart
medications that are used to control irregular
heartbeats.

With all of these options for treatments that I have listed, its still sound advice to see a professional first. ( I did decide to take the relaxation method first but that is just me) I know my vast knowledge is quite enticing…lol but nothing beats the feeling of being in a cold doctors office and getting costly professional advice.

So where does that leave me? Well Im taking it one day at a time. That argument ? fortunate (or unfortunately would probably be in another blog down the line) has not severe our union, and I’m learning to take it easy in general, because I don’t want to end up on the front of any papers (and seeing as how I have no celebrity the only paper would I would appear on is the morning edition) So with that I leave all you lovely people with a final though: Take it easy, or wake up crazy….lol. I wonder if that’s what happened to Britney. catch ya’ll later

R84

Now coherence few and far between
coming apart at the seams
while “love” continues to demean

The leeching of kindness has accrued
while “love” continues to allude
Self worth forfeited
Coming through just to hit it, come together just to be splitted

Once bitten twice as stupid
coherence few and far between
Now smitten yet remorsefully languid
“love” continues to demean

leeched to the point of desitute
no longer astute
speech slurred, constantly mumbling
Regressing I concurred, my life is crumbling

let downs leave lasting lacerations
being realistic, Im masochistic.
Silently, slowly slaying self, no retaliations

Coherence few and far between
yet senses have come back in reams
No longer will love demean

The Leech has been removed
leaving a stronger host, yet somewhat “removed”
regurgitating all it fed upon
Leaving things to dwell on

Free from further frustrations, scars still supply sublime longing*

WoW!..You really don’t know how good that felt! Even with the use of poetry, I was able to get out the weeks frustrations in a quaint eight stanzas. Some of you are probably like “why the hell is he talking about leeches?!!” Well my dear people, even though us being the all powerful mammals that we are; everything is parallel to one another. While we don’t literally have these organisms latching on to us and sucking us of our blood, I am sure that we have come across our share of “leeches” throughout life. I came to the discovery of my leech recently, quite by accident too. You see, though the parasitical ways of friends, significant others, as well as employers my be subtle, truth be told it is just as dangerous as having one of these critters sap that precious life fluid from you. So how prey tell how can you find out whether you are indeed being “leeched”? Well for starters it really does start with self. Look inside of yourself and ask your self ” How does helping this person out make me feel” If the first emotion that comes across to you is aggravation, depression, or even anger; then my friends you already have your first red flag! Secondly, evluate exactly how mcu you do for this indiviual, this is actually very to guage; if they are not your child, and the are over the age of 18….you are doing too much!! stop while you are ahead!

So how prey tell how can you find out whether you are indeed being “leeched”? Well for starters it really does start with self. Look inside of yourself and ask your self ” How does helping this person out make me feel” If the first emotion that comes across to you is aggravation, depression, or even anger; then my friends you already have your first red flag! Secondly, evaluate exactly how much you do for this individual, this is actually very easy to gauge; if they are not your child, and the are over the age of 18….you are doing too much! stop while you are ahead! And lastly; how much are they doing for you? The last tester maybe a bit superficial however, in a world of where no one cares about the next man, you should really take into consideration what that person is doing to help you prosper, or better yet for my romantics at heart; what are they doing to make “us” better. Well that is the end of my musing for now, catch you guys later in the week. Peace

Ragueneau84